happy birthday mama!

On this day, 53 years ago, the world changed when my mama was born. How ridiculous that may sound to you, but I promise that if you knew her, you would understand.

Out of all types of love that exist in this world, it is hard for me to think of one greater than the love of a mother for her child. It makes no difference if that child is adopted, a different color, disabled, or an accident; the love that a mother has for her child is impenetrable. As I have gotten older, this love has become even more evident to me. While I am only 22, I can say that my life became more interesting in my twenties. At this age, I have become self-sufficient which has given me the opportunity to see my parents not as providers, but as individuals. And they are very much individuals.

My dad is extremely social and involved with—well, everything. He receives a lot of attention that he deserves, and he is humble. He does many good things and always looks out for other people and never accredits his local fame to himself, but instead to God. That being said, I have always felt that my mama has been overshadowed. I do not mean this in a bad way towards my dad in any way. I am very proud of him and I am blessed to have such a strong presence not only in my home, but in my community. With my dad being an extrovert and my mom being an introvert I feel that sometimes, my mama gets overlooked. When I was living at home, it was not uncommon that I was asked by other people what my mom was like, or that people would tell me that they had never met her before, and in hearing this, all I could think about was how much they were missing.

With every year of my life, I love my mama even more. Every year, I see more and more of all the selfless decisions that she has made in her life to provide for me, even before I was a thought, and she deserves ceaseless celebration. My mama is a beacon of both strength and comfort and is the epitome of sacrifice. She is always asking other people about what more she can do for them and never asks that they do anything for her. As an insider, I tell you that it is no show that she puts on; this level of generosity is simply who she is.

Often times when mothers or any female figures are referenced, they are referenced by their grace and poise but, in the nicest way possible, those are not qualities that I think of when I think about my mama. If you are reading this, mama, you know that that is not what you think of when you think of me either, and I thank you for that.

My mama is fiery, funny, and spunky, but not in a way that serves an attitude. She is funny just by being. Her mannerisms are kooky and cute at the same time and she is truly a joy of my life. My mama is someone that I always have fun with and who makes me feel like I can just rest. She makes me laugh and smile but she is also the first one to wipe my tears. She is a true woman because she is who she is.

Being a woman is hard. There are unfortunate things that women have to face daily, that are even unrecognized by women themselves because they are so normalized. In a male-dominated world, I have felt pressure to hold in my emotions so that I seem stronger. As silly as it sounds, I have felt guilty or weak for crying about things that moved me because I felt that it damaged my credibility as a leader. 

There are times that I have been treated poorly, have been ignored, and have been taken advantage of because I am a woman and talking to a man about these struggles, is just not the same. My mama is always the one that reminds me that all of the inadequacies that I feel that I have are not inadequacies. She reminds me that it is not me, but society that is inadequate in seeing me for the individual and the woman that I am, and that it is society who is at fault for not listening to my ideas. When these things that create the weight of the female reality add up, I can tell them to my mama and I know she will understand. Being able to share with my mama, about whatever troubles we face, or have faced, has developed my identity immensely, and I greatly cherish our relationship.

I aspire to be like my mama in her womanhood, her generosity and most importantly her personality. She is a true joy and her crazy silliness can make even a dead man smile. I praise the Lord for blessing me with such a protector and a confidant, and I pray that she’s got 53 more years in her.

Cheers to you on your special day, and may no one ever forget to remind you how awesome you are. Happy Birthday, Mama! ❤